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Published on August 18th, 2011 | by Alex

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>New BioShock Infinite Screenshot Breakdown

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As resident KBMOD BioShock fanatic and world-renowned breakdown artist the only thought that ran through my mind when I was informed of these new BioShock: Infinite screenshots released from Gamescom was: I need to re-watch the original Star Wars trilogy. Then, I remembered my aforementioned talents and began the journey from speculation to confirmation.


1. Elizabeth staring up at the ‘Regent’ cinema’s marquee board playing Revenge Of The Jedi.


BioShock: Infinite appears to be catering to all types of theater goers with these varied showtimes. As well it seems there will be paid parking in Columbia. Not sure how I feel about this, but then again, the anarchy of parking your boat in Rapture was just such a hassle not to mention the serious lack of runway causing our initial landing to be more than a little bumpy. Also, what are those? Look like C-cups to me. Not a lot of relevance to that piece of information but it could come in handy on some bra-fitting side mission. Would have preferred Empire Strikes Bach, the sweeping love story between famed German composer and ‘The Empire’, a down-on-her-luck prostitute, but I trust Ken Levine.


2. Elizabeth crying while being abducted by some bird-like creature.


This is why you don’t take women to war, and more importantly when you do make sure to pack tear-resistant mascara. Probably the least informative of all the newly released screenshots, however, the blue light directly behind Elizabeth’s right shoulder: possible lightsaber? Going to go with no on that one but should I be proven right, I speculated and doubted myself here first. We can now confirm Elizabeth has ten fingers, I’m sure her parents were psyched about that at birth.


3. Bald-headed dentist attacked by mysterious bad-guy during daytime Columbia.


Could this mysterious Scottish looking character be a member of the main villain group in Columbia? More importantly, why don’t we have any painless dental care establishments down here on land? Judging by the shape of the window break I’m betting the game will cost the usual $59.99 upon release. Although our supposed ‘baddie’ is wearing a hat, I don’t see any hair on that murderous head which leads me to believe Columbia is a bald-headed paradise of some sort. Scary times.


4. First look at the interface used to activate Elizabeth’s ‘tearing’ ability.


Well we’ve finally found out how we’re going to ‘use’ Elizabeth and I can’t imagine the feminists are going to be too pleased. The interface signals there will be three separate types of ‘tear’ one can conjure up through Elizabeth and I’m just getting word now we can confirm our earlier speculation: they are indeed C-cups. The now famed Columbia rail transportation system is featured transporting something other than daring humans with hooks and can possibly be used as cover during combat. Or, Elizabeth is allergic to the sun and could once again point to some sun-defeating side mission.


All in all, fascinating new BioShock: Infinite content that’s sure to only strengthen your desire for this visual, cerebral and visceral masterpiece coming sometime 2012. You don’t have to be a breakdown expert like myself to confirm boners all around.


All images courtesy of PC Gamer

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pvtj8ker

Alex

Title: Absentee Staff Member About: Alex is a proud Rhodes Scholar currently living in his vehicle, a 1993 Toyota Camry, so that he may be closer to the rhode. As an avid cinemagoer, often he will go for six or seven hours at a time playing air hockey with unattended minors in the arcade without ever actually seeing a film, before returning home to his Camry. On weekends he dresses himself up as a Little Sister from his favourite video game BioShock before attending Bear and Twink Conventions in search of his Big Daddy. Currently runs the KBMOD YouTube Channel.


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  • Darbyothrill

    >Those show times are clearly pandering to casual moviegoers.

  • The tech talk blog

    >could you kindly?

  • Gibbz

    >Can't wait for this game! I hate that they first told us about it three years before release though. By the time it comes out, I'm gonna have a heart attack from excitement. :)

  • CadetChaos

    >"Return of the Jedi" was originally titled "Revenge of the Jedi" in an early draft, but was changed because Lucas thought that revenge wasn't something Jedi strove for.

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